


If you close your eyes, you forget me.

by YuJeong



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 12:44:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19946371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuJeong/pseuds/YuJeong
Summary: Hannibal and Will, who became lovers during the first season, and the two separated again a year later. Then, due to a traffic accident, Will suffers from short-term memory loss. Hannibal, who was contacted by her friend Sutcliffe, claims to be Will's soldier.





	If you close your eyes, you forget me.

What had been feared had happened in reality. In the middle of the night, with her eyes open, Allana came to my house. 

"Will exploded.”

I didn't quite understand the meaning at first. Other than patting Alana's back, she was just unable to control herself. Explosion? 

*

The next morning, we (Alana and I) went to the FBI. It was to find Jack. I've never seen Alana scream so much. Alana kept shouting.

"You knew it! That Will will explode someday. But you didn't do anything?"  
Jack just listened to Alana with his head down. as if without respect I sat on the chair opposite Jack and stared at him hard. Things have not yet come to fathom 

*

I went to the hospital where Will was. Fortunately, it was a hospital with my friend, Sutcliffe. I found him by the name of Will Graham to the nurse. When I first saw him, he looked very absent-minded. Will didn't recognize me. When I hugged Will by calling him by his name, Will had an obvious look of embarrassment. I wasn't in Will's memory. My world has collapsed.

*

God is a very selfish creature. It wasn't enough to break down the church ceiling, so it knocked down my Will. Oh, my God. He feels power. Because power is all he can do. Because power is the only reason for God's existence. He can't live unless he breaks something down.

*

Unlike not remembering me, Will remembers things like basic information like his name and age. But what day is it today? When asked, Will hesitated and replied that it was December twenty-five days.

Will's memory was stopped at Christmas. I think I had a problem with my hippocampus because of the shock I hurt my head. short-term memory loss That's how Sutcliffe defined Will's illness. When I wake up, my memory disappears. In a nutshell, it's resetting. Mr. William's memory seems to have stopped at the twenty-fifth of December. Looking over the thick glasses at the calendar of July, Sutcliffe said.

*

I wanted Will to stay in my house until he found his memory. Because of that, after you were discharged, I took you to my house. While your home had a big reason that your contract expired while you were in hospital, and that you had no relatives or family members, you didn't have a place to go after you left the hospital, but in the hope that you would remember me while you were with me. It was a house we went back and forth many times during our relationship. But after many months, you didn't remember me.

Why does Will's memory stay on the twenty-fifth of December? Every morning you open the curtain as soon as you wake up. I feel strange when I look at the scenery without snow (such as green leaves that don't look like winter, the sun, the sky that is blue like a lie, and the sound of cicadas that hang around). He soon discovers that he exists on a day far from the twenty-fifth of December. Then, you get excited. scream like a fit of fits I hold on to you like that and calm you down. Then you grope and ask me who I am, and I introduce myself to you who have forgotten me every morning.

*

Were we in love? You ask. Yes. When did we first meet? It was snowing Christmas. Did you love me a lot? Yes. Did I love you? Yes. Did you ask this question yesterday? Yes

*

As I stayed with Will, I remembered a rude man. Jack Crawford. Jack kept turning Will's tarsier, knowing he was about to explode. He needed revenge accordingly. 

*

It was me who confessed love to you first. On Christmas day, when white snow poured out white laver, I confessed my love to you. You just stared at me in silence and nodded. From the start, you didn't love me. You may have accepted my confession because I brainwashed you that your well-being counselor confessed to you, or that you need a good relationship. 

*

At first, the mere sight of Will made me feel proud and bright, but gradually, looking at him, I felt a stabbing pain in my heart. Looking at you, it made my heart ache. Before I knew it, I was becoming a cripple. Every morning, I cried thinking about you. It was the weekend, and I was helpless except when I met you. In the counseling room, in the moment of playing the harpsichord, in the moment of cooking, in every moment I thought of you. I want you to love me. But you don't love me. So, is there any reason for me to live? Is there a reason for you to live? You gnawed at me more and more. When my presence was finally eaten up by you, I thought I'd break up with you. Because I thought I'd kill Will if I continued this relationship. To lose you, I didn't want you. I didn't want to make another broken tea cup.

But I don't think Will was. Whether I didn't have any affection for you, or whether I wasn't sure of my affection for you, surely, doubted my affection.

On Christmas next year, Will notified me of my farewell. It was also Christmas when it was snowing. Break up, Dr. Lecter. A white seaweed gushed out of Will's mouth to say goodbye again. For a moment I thought of kidnapping him, but I had no choice but to let him go.

*

Why am I holding on to you that I don't even remember? Then, do I believe you will love me? Do they have false hopes? Just because your memory is gone, do you think you'll love me? Are you really in love with me? No, he doesn't love you. He's just being fooled by your lies. I'm not really in love with you.

*

From one day on, I fall asleep in the same bed as you."While you were hospitalized, I moved your furniture-beds, TV sets, unfavorably carpets, puppy beds, fucking puppies- into my house. We fall asleep in a super single-size bed at your house.)Calm down you screaming in the morning, and then convince you to grow up and coax you through the afternoon, and by evening you really believe you love me. You are always fooled by my lies.

When you have a sex with Will, he's full of hot flowers on your face. My cheeks and nose are getting red, and Will whispers to me that he loves me. At that moment I mistake you really like me.

Will, with his flushed eyes, grumbles when the relationship is over. I don't want to fall asleep. Why? When you fall asleep, you have to forget about you again. Before you know it, you're crying at the corners of your eyes. I hold your hand tight and speak. It's okay. I'll remember Will. So don't cry, Will.

*

Do you like me? Will asked me last year when we were dating. It was a deep midnight. A cool breeze blew through the open window. I could see you clearly in the moonlight of the round moon. But only your face was shaded and you couldn't see well. Of course, I like you, Will. When you look at Will, the fever starts to boil from inside, and it has a passion that goes beyond the inspiration of composition, the perfection of art, the creativity of cooking. A delicate note between Le and Mee of the harpsichord would not compare to a sweep of your waist. Michelangelo will reincarnate and make another statue no match for you. My eternal muse, my eternal soul. Will, I love you madly.

*

I knew. You don't love me. You didn't love me. I just wanted the attention and love I gave. 

Maybe I'm selfish to hold you like this way. I may be tempted by my feelings, by my obsession. I may lie to you every day that you don't love me, and hold you by my side. I don't know if you're cheating on me like you love me and making me whisper love every night.

No, I wouldn't mind if I held you. You loved me. Obviously. Will, you never loved me, not for a moment? Are you lying to yourself, Will? You may have tried to find my love and interest. But have you ever loved yourself? Are you sure you don't have one?

*

Even if I grabbed you and bit you, Will didn't answer. Did I do anything wrong, crying with that deer's eyes? I only asked.

*

I sent an invitation to Jack to come home. With pleasure, Jack accepted the invitation. a silly jack He hastens his command.

He comes in with a smile. Will's hello is also asked. I wonder if there is any shame.

"How's Will?"  
"Of course, Jack."  
"You look like a doctor. It must have been hard to take care of Will."  
"Well, yes."

I look at Jack. Will is sleeping in the bedroom thanks to the sleeping pills I gave him. Even if the struggle made a loud noise, Will would not wake up.

"It's been a long time. I've always missed his food."  
"It's such an honor."   
"By the way, what's tonight?”  
"I'm just about to hunt."

He can't understand it for a long time after hearing it. Poor Jack. I take out the mass I had hidden in my sleeve. Then he approaches Jack and slits his neck. Jack looks surprised and tries to bleed. Jack's sitting down gradually.Then Jack dies. I drag his body into the basement. Today's dinner menu is steak.

*

One day, he changed the curtains of the room to a black blind. No matter when Will got up, it was to make sure he didn't notice when the date was now. To keep Will from getting excited and shouting. Day or night, summer or winter, we don't always notice the date. The room was always dark. I don't go out gradually. Just pull down the blinds and curl up next to you and spend every day. When Will wakes up, he introduces me, and when he cries, he hugs me, and if he hugs me, I know you too. I spend the whole day next to you. Before I know it, I forget the date just like you.

*

FBI agents visit my house. with common questions

"How long have you seen Jack?”  
"Well, it's been a week since I last invited you to dinner."  
"Are you close to Jack?"  
"Jack and I are friends."  
"Do you know that Jack is gone?"  
"I didn't know. Is Jack gone?”  
"Yes, there's less than a week left. Our FBI thinks it's a murder."  
"Why?"  
"The FBI has done a lot of things.”

That's right. Then the tenacious agent went back. Perhaps it's time to reveal Jack's body.

*

FBI agents get their hands on checkfisher reaper!  
Last night, an FBI agent (Jack Crawford) was found in a lake in Baltimore. The body was skinned from the ship, and the liver and heart were thought of. In the meantime, an agent at the site (anonymous) said that an expensive piece of paper with the word "Checkfisher" written in elegant typeface was found inside his ship, not with any contortions. It is possible that the suspect is a copycat, but it cannot be ruled out as a checkfisher reaper. An agent at another scene swearing, said Jack had disappeared a week, the last person he met was Hannibal Lecter, and the most likely suspect was Hannibal Lecter. Hannibal Lecter is a psychologist and is now a counselor. Is he the checkfisher reaper? It is a matter for the reader to judge.

*

What's the date now? Twelfth or thirteenth? Is this month a month of poetry? By all means, it doesn't matter.

Since when, you wake up in the morning and cry loudly instead of shouting. One day, I spend the day crying. Your snowball swells in pale pink. I don't know what to do and I hug you. The javelin sweeps your shoulders. My shirt is wet with your tears.

A few hours later you stare at me with a whimper. He asks if he knows himself.

*

If only you could never remember me forever. So if you loved me.

*

While you don't remember, there's a lot of depression in Will's mind. As the day passes, your movements slow down and slow down. Like an old man, like a man who can't move for a long time and can't keep himself well. In a dark room with black blinds, you shed tears without a trace. You keep shedding tears without remembering why you are crying.

I'm scared, shivering, you said. Dark circles are thick under your clear eyes. You haven't slept in three days. I'm afraid to fall asleep. Close your eyes, and I think you'll disappear. Close your eyes, it's dark. It's the darkness that devours me and devours you.

*

Will repeats an abnormal life. I cry for hours after I open my eyes. And ask who I am. After you understand who I am, and then you think you like me, then you cry again. I don't sleep. Two days at a short time and three days at a long time. No matter how much I beg to fall asleep, no matter how much I cry, Will will not fall asleep. give one's head down No, I don't want to sleep because I'm afraid I'll forget you again when I fall asleep. I'm afraid I'll forget my memory again when I fall asleep. And eventually he falls asleep and falls. I fall asleep all day Then he wakes up again and sheds tears again.

*

Will's body is drying up to the point where it's not too good to look. Will doesn't even eat well. Sometimes I swallow porridge or water and lie in bed and cry. When you touch your waist, you touch your bones. My eyes are in full bloom. My cheeks were slanted. Will changes so much that his heart aches just by looking at him.

*

I think a few times a day. Should I let Will go? It's only when I hold you like this that I'm only going to fill one more empty heart. I wonder if you're suffering from my selfishness. I wonder if you're so sick because of my wish that won't happen.

No, you can exist because you are in my fence. You should stay with me. Will, you should be in my arms.

We ran out of food. Since we haven't gone hunting for some time (there are many dangers). It was only natural that I didn't want to leave you above all else because I didn't go shopping. Even if I search the refrigerator hard, I can't see anything to eat. There are only two bottles left of bottled water. 

Soon, even the fire doesn't come in. The electricity in the house seems to be out of order. Day or night, the inside of the Job is full of utter darkness. I don't think about fixing the electric wires. Will and I are more used to the dark.

*

One day, as usual, I start crying after you. It may be due to three days of empty stomachs, yellowish skin after a few months of sunshine, a body that has not been washed up for days due to lack of water, and a long period of depression. Lying next to you crying, I cry, too. I also shed tears. My eyes are swollen. The front of the shirt is damp. My throat hurts.

A beautiful life, I thought so until I met you. Ever since I met you, I've regretted my life before. You were Jesus of my life. My life is different before and after I meet you. Since I met you, only you have been my life. Your scent, your aftershave, your eyes, your glasses, your eyes, your shirt, the faces you've always been smiling about, crying, the pupils you were shaking when you shot Hobbes, the blood splashed all over...

Wouldn't it be better if you were dead, Will? Maybe that's better. When you wake up, you don't remember me loving Tang Hsing-li, I introduce myself to such you many times, you see me, and you forget me, and you don't remember me loving you again...

*

It's been three days since I starved. It's hard to look straight at Will. I hear voices. It's like you're laughing at me. You laugh at me with a sneer. You look good. Look at you now. It's a mess. What do you think you'll get from this? Just because I forget my memories, do you think I'm gonna love you? a wild remark I don't love you. Hannibal, wake up. As always.

I bend my head to avoid your sneering face. scratch one's face with one's hands Block your ears with your hands. Close with a frown on your eyes. You keep laughing at me. For a moment I strangle you. You laugh at me when you're thirsty. By the time your face turns blue, I come to my senses. You look at me with swollen eyes. I beg you to spare me. I let go of my hand. The strength of your legs is so relaxed that you sit down and shudder.

*

Why does your memory stop on the twelfth day of the twelfth month? Why? Why?

*

The morning is bright again. Will couldn't sleep yesterday, either. Was it because I strangled you? Will avoid me. Turn your head to me Normally you would have turned your head to look at me, or begged me to look at me, but now you don't have the strength to lift a finger. My whole body is drooping. As if my body were a woodcutter, I did not move as I wanted, and all the senses I felt in my body were blunt.

I can't even cry when I see your dark, curly backstabbing head. I have spent many days pouring tears into my eyes, so I can't cry anymore. My eyes are stiff. as if it represented crying

*

If you die, if you'd rather die. Now here you and me, if we cut off our lives with our hands. If you and I could hold hands affectionately and throw ourselves out of the window in a tall building. If we, each other's entrails, are crushed and together until the last breath.

*

You finally ask. Who are you? I finally answer the truth. You don't talk.

* 

It's a boring morning again. You are not in my view. You're not always lying next to me where you were. Pull yourself up and leave the room. You're nowhere in the house. One of the winter coats on the hanger disappeared. Some reason makes me laugh.

*

I cried a lot on Christmas Day, the twenty-fifth day of the twelfth month when Will told me to say goodbye. The snowballs were swollen, and his throat was hoarse, and he bit them and wept until no more sound came out. I hated that I had to end my relationship with Will. No matter how tired I was to you, I still loved you. Still looking at you, my heart beat like crazy. There was no moment when I didn't love you for a moment. I still liked you. That's why I cried more.

*

Remove the long-standing black blinds. I frown at the sun after a long time. It was winter. White snow piled up plainly, and dry branches were swayed by strong winds. The cold wind poking at my skin when I opened the window. A Christmas carol comes from somewhere far away (perhaps a church?). God laughs at me. I submit to God's power under heaven.

Pick up the pistol you bought for the "If Hunting" dragon. They aim at the temple without delay, and pull the trigger.

In Goethe's "Sorrow of Berther," Werther, who loved Charlotte, eventually chooses to commit suicide. Berther dies after living the night with his brain exploding on the tree floor. His breath comes up to me. Breathe out. Rather, I have a strange conviction to end my life earlier. 

I call your name one last time being. Close your eyes. I forget you.


End file.
